Then, I headed for the airport. I had a midday flight to Chicago, with a connection on to the so-called "Quad Cities" - Bettendorf, Moline, Davenport and Rock Island (I had to Google to double check what was the fourth Quad City).
Quad Cities Towns
I never trust that airlines will remember that I have requested a vegetarian meal and that, even if they do remember it, it will be an edible meal, so I always carry some food with me when I fly.
The snack box I packed had:
- 100g cooked asparagus
- 2 carrots
- 10 cherry toms
- 1 hard boiled duck egg
Got to Heathrow and checked in OK, but all the silly new restrictions about 100mls of liquids and gels packed in an 8" X 8" Ziploc bag. Then I headed for the Business Class lounge where I had:
- 2 vodka and tonic
- 1 sachet cheese biscuits (I guess around 15g)
- 1 sachet peanuts
- 1 sachet pretzels
Not sure why I always feel compelled to snack in the lounge, but I do anyway and with flying comparatively long distances, the day and meals within it get so messed up anyway, it does not really seem to matter.
Settled in on the plane with something called a "Fiesta Snack Mix" sachet and a can of Mr. & Mrs. T's Bloody Mary mix (my favourite plane drink on poxy airlines like United and American that charge $5.00 for a glass of wine or a spirit).
Ate my little snack box on the plane as I was hungry and then lunch arrived. United had actually remembered my veggie meal and it did not look too bad so I ate it. It was a sort of ratatouille cannelloni or lasagna - hard to tell which - with a plain salad and brown roll. There was a very weird looking dessert which looked remarkably like a fired egg, but I ignored it as I am not much of a sweets fan (and especially not when it looks like fried egg).
Watched a few films - "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest " (a ripping good yarn), "Monster House" (excellent, spooky CGI) and "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" (mindless drivel - Uma should know better).
Plane was late taking off and even later arriving in Chicago.
I hate O'Hare International Airport.
I hate the way you have to collect your luggage and clear customs as O'Hare. Because of that, I missed my connection.
Actually, if I had just gone straight to the connection with my oversized bag and checked it at plane side, I would have been OK. But because I followed to rules and went to re-check the bag (as I knew it was too big for carry on), I was delayed just enough to miss my connection my 5 minutes. If I had just plowed on to the gate and "discovered" at the plane that the bag was too big, they would have checked it for me plane side and I would have made my flight.
Must stop being honest.
Anyway, languishing at O'Hare for 4 hours waiting for the next flight, I, of course, proceeded directly to Business Class Lounge where I had
- 1 snickerdoodle cookie & one chocolate chip cookie
- 4 Pepperidge Farms Butter Thins Crackers
- 4 Pepperidge Farms Sesame Crackers
- 4 Pepperidge Farms Hearty Wheat Crackers
- 21g of "mild cheddar" (aka yellow rubber)
- 2 bags of Bunny-Luv Baby Carrots
- several Bloody Marys made with Mr. & Mrs. T's Bloody Mary mix
Tried to get a message through to my brother to say that my flight was delayed, but I had forgotten to pack his mobile number. Went to United "Customer Services" to ask if they could contact the United Customer Services desk in Quad Cities and page him to let me know. They said that they could not contact their own staff in an airport 45 minutes away.
A-bloody-mazing. United are such shit, honestly.
Anyway, eventually got to QC Airport and got a cab to the Super-8 Motel in Davenport. Had bizarro cabbie named Randy The Singing Cowboy who was a camp as a pink tent and chatted the whole way about looking after his disabled Mom, in between singing along with "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" and other C&W hits from someone called Kenny Chesney.
Welcome to Iowa.
Anyway, I had asked when I booked the cab how much the fare would be and was told $25 -30. Randy took another passenger at the same time, dropped her off in Bettendorf about 10 minutes from he airport and charged her $22.50 for the privilege.
He then dropped me at a Super-8 and charged me $30 - not bad for 25 minutes work. But, it was the WRONG Super-8 (the one in Bettendorf, not Davenport) and it was only the quick feet of the Super-8 manager that caught him up.
The correct Super-8 Motel, Davenport
On the way to Davenport, he told me that he should charge me more than $30 but could not be bothered to change the paper work. I tell him that I had been advised the ride would cost $25-30 to Davenport and suddenly her no longer feels like chatting or singing.
At the correct Super-8, I check in, wander along Highway 61 to a local Shell station where I bought a frozen macaroni and cheese dinner, a tin of green beans and a bottle of Smirnoff ice.
Back in the hotel, I realize that I have no can opener for the beans and no appetite either, so I drink the Smirnoff ice, shower and hit the sack. Interesting to find on reading the Smirnoff label carefully, it actually describes itself as a beer - I thought it would be a vodka based drink as that is what I associate Smirnoff with.
I reckon I consumed 4100 calories today, but then it is more like a day and a half and I did do a lot of running around the world's largest airports (Heathrow and Chicago).
And I did need to contend with a singing cowboy cabbie
She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy by Kenny Chesney
Plowing these fields in the hot summer sun
Over by the gate lordy here she comes
With a basket full of chicken and a big cold jug of sweet tea
I make a little room and she climbs on up
Open up a throttle and stir a little dust
Just look at her face she ain't a foolin me
She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm chuggin along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy
We ride back and forth until we run out of light
Take it to the barn put it up for the night
Climb up in the loft sit and talk with the radio on
She said she's got a dream and I asked what it is
She wants a little farm and a yard full of kids
One more teeny weeny ride before take her home
She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm chuggin along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy
Well she ain't into cars or pick up trucks
But if it runs like a Deere man her eyes light up
She thinks my tractor's....
She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm chuggin along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy
She thinks my tractor's sexy
She thinks my tractor's sexy
Sexy or what?
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